In October 2016, my brother Matt (a long-time season ticket holder for the Chicago Cubs) called me with a very unusual question: what to do with the four tickets he had for a World Series game. One option was to take his wife and two kids to the game—clearly a really special opportunity. Another option was to sell the tickets and make $10,000.
When he asked for my advice, I shared with him one of the key findings from research on the science of happiness: choose experiences over material possessions. So, one great option was to go to the game and enjoy that shared experience. Another was to sell the tickets and use the money to go on a great family trip—Disneyland, or the Grand Canyon, or Hawaii. What's a not so good answer? Buying a new car or living room furniture.
I've thought of this story repeatedly over the last few months, as it’s become more difficult to spend money on experiences: we can’t see a Broadway show, we can’t attend a World Series game, we can’t take a fabulous trip. And that’s one reason why many of us feel pretty blue during this holiday season.
What’s so good about spending money on experiences?
First, anticipating experiences feels great. In fact, empirical research demonstrates that people who anticipate something experience greater enjoyment than those who do not. Researchers in one study asked college students to participate in a “chocolate rating” study. Half the students were asked to immediately eat Hershey’s Kisses or Hugs, and then to rate their enjoyment of this chocolate. The other students were also asked to eat and then rate the chocolate but only after waiting for 30 minutes. Can you predict their findings? Students who had to wait 30 minutes reported liking the chocolate much more than those who were able to eat it immediately.
Another explanation for the benefits of buying experiences is that we are more likely to share experiences with others, whereas we tend to acquire material possessions—a purse, laptop, watch—to use on our own. And perhaps this tendency to share experiences with those we care about accounts for their greater impact on happiness. As noted hiker and wanderer Chris McCandless wrote, “Happiness is only real when shared.”
Researchers in one study directly tested this question by comparing the relative benefits on happiness of spending money on experiences versus possessions, as well as spending money for solitary versus social purposes. What did they find?
First, social spending led to greater happiness than solitary spending, meaning we find more happiness from buying a new large-screen television the whole family can enjoy than from buying a new purse or watch we plan to use ourselves. This finding held true for buying both material possessions and experiences; people who spent money on socially shared experiences—going to a concert with a friend or taking a vacation with a spouse—reported higher levels of satisfaction than those who spent money acquiring solo experiences, such as attending a sporting event on their own or taking a solo trip.
But the very best predictor of happiness was spending money on socially shared experiences, such as by planning a trip with a spouse or taking the whole family to a Broadway play. In fact, socially shared experiences had a greater impact on happiness than spending money on solitary experiences or material possessions (solitary or shared).
So if you’re finding it hard to feel happy during this challenging holiday season, here’s some advice, based on science, about how to feel better: Plan a trip for the future, when it is safe to travel again. Buy a travel guide book (I’ve just purchased one for Germany), check out travel websites (RickSteves.com is my favorite), and start practicing some basic language skills you’ll need (Duolingo is highly recommended by many). When you plan a trip, you get to spend weeks (even months) thinking about where you are going to go, what you are going to see, and so on—and this type of anticipation makes us feel good, which is one reason why people who are planning a vacation are happier than those who are not. The Germans even have an expression for it—"Vorfreude ist die schönste Freude,” which means, “Anticipation is the greatest joy.”
And, finally, are you wondering how my brother solved his World Series dilemma four years ago? They went to the game and miraculously saw the only Cubs win at Wrigley Field.